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The apology you didn't get

4/26/2015

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What if you were not weighted down by the hurts in your life? Carrying around the hard feelings of life is cumbersome and actually distracts you from the abundant JOY that you can enjoy. 

How to let go of the hurts?

One of the most powerful healing elements in this world is forgiveness. You experience great freedom when you forgive. Some of the hurts we receive are difficult to forgive. Maybe we're afraid that if we forgive we will be hurt again. Forgiving doesn't have to do with letting down boundaries or even being around the people or person that hurt you. It is actually about freedom.

Apologies are hard to come by. Not the "oh, sorry" you get when someone bumps into you, but "I said something that hurt you and I did not mean to hurt you. I'm so sorry." Sometimes people are too ashamed to admit they were wrong and sometimes people are not sorry for the hurt.

Here's a secret: people who do the hurting, are people who are hurt. They are missing the capacity to back up and be sorry or they are missing the sensitivity to see that they hurt you.

The glorious thing about life is that you have the capacity to change your emotions around the hurts you've felt. Even if the "other" would never apologize, you can imagine that they did. Do not underestimate the power of imagination and the changes imagination can create within you and even to impact your outer world.

Today's exercise is to write an apology letter from one or more of the people you felt have hurt you. Write it as if their soul is writing to your soul. You can write them back if you want. Then burn or destroy the letter, releasing it on all levels. This is for giving to yourself. 

You still get to set boundaries in life that keep you safe.

I just heard a great quote, "Better to have an open heart and a thick skin than a closed heart and a thin skin." You can use this tool of writing your own letters to fortify your skin so that you can keep your glorious, shining heart open.
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You see what you look for. What do you want?

3/25/2015

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What do you want in life? Happiness? Knowledge? Goodness? Prosperity? Love?
How do you increase, invite, promote the MORE that you're seeking?


  •  Ask for it. That could look like a prayer, or advice from a friend or mentor. 
  • Have a clear intention. You have to name it to claim it. Be clear what you want and understand the why you want it.
  • Look for it. Keep your eyes open and see where the opportunities are for more goodness, kindness, knowledge, prosperity, health. 
  • Acknowledge when you see it. Express gratitude! Take a moment to appreciate that the more you want is increasing.
  • Take action. Be willing to take a step toward the thing you desire. It might be a class or an email search, a phone call or a break. 

You see what you look for. If your radar is up for beauty, you'll see beauty all around you. If you're looking for opportunity, doors will appear. You may need to knock on those doors to enter. What has value will take effort and intention. If you're looking for peace, you'll find the path. 


The power of "NO." Saying "no" to what you don't want is a really important aspect creating the space and energy to say "yes" to what you do want. Everyone falls, but with clarity and commitment, you will always have the strength to get up again.

"What you seek is seeking you." What you want will show up. May you be blessed with the courage to step forward toward your heart's desires.
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Handling Life

12/8/2014

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Our hands are such an important part of our daily life. We eat, clean, caress, and play using our hands. Our hands get us in through doors and out of messes. We can use our hands to communicate and our hands protect us. 


There are those that say a map of your body is in your hands. (I remember learning a technique years ago for getting rid of headaches by pressing points on the hands.) The hands can even be a metaphor for how you're "handling" issues or life. 

Your hands are a simple and profound place to be kind to yourself. Small actions can have profound effects. 

Janine Cheung of HealthyBalancedBody.com shares how holding fingers can bring balance:

  •  "You can hold your Thumb to balance Worry (so many babies suck their thumbs, showing that they are worried, or have tummy/digestive problems);
  •  Hold your Index Finger to balance Fear, or help a sore back; 
  • Hold your Middle Finger to balance Anger; 
  • Hold your Ring Finger to balance Grief or Sadness (and to help you breath;)
  • Hold your Little Finger when you're stuck in trying-too-hard mode (running around taking care of everyone else, but yourself) or Pretense (laughing on the outside, but crying on the inside.)"

One of my personal self nurturing techniques is to lovingly apply hand cream. I keep hand cream next to my bed, in my desk drawer, in the kitchen, and in my purse. You can use a lovely cold pressed coconut  or sesame oil as a hand softener. I use those (or olive oil) in the kitchen when I'm doing a lot of food preparation so that if it gets into any of the food, it's edible and clean.  



Having the "intention" of taking care of yourself as you take any small, nurturing action will deepen the peace it brings. 


May your path always be smooth and fragrant. May you handle things with grace and clarity. May you always have the strength to lend a hand, and to have the courage to take a hand. May you put your hands together in joy and appreciation. May you know when to let go, and when to open your hands to receive. May your heart help you to quietly hold someone's hand... or your own! 


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Laugh, yes, laugh, yes, laugh

1/7/2013

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Laughter is good medicine. Books have been written about how laughter can heal. Laughter can heal. If "you see what you look for" how about looking for things that make you smile and even laugh? 

What makes you laugh? Are you open to new possibilities?
If this made you smile, or even think that smiling is a good idea,
please "like" and share! <3
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Unfolding in Time (...or Stop Comparing Yourself to Others)

11/20/2012

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I planted flower seeds in my garden one spring. I watered them every day. They all got t he same sun, and were in the same small patch of soil. And what I saw should not have surprised me, but it did. Each seedling grew at its own pace. Some flowers bloomed much earlier, some much later. Each one had its own timing and I never thought less of the flowers that bloomed last. I enjoyed every single flower! 

I know it won't surprise you to say that people don't grow and blossom at the same time either. Nothing does. But did you remember that about yourself? Each of us grows at the rate we grow at. That's perfect. You're exactly where you're supposed to be, right now! What's not fine is when we judge ourselves (or others) for not being where we thing we should be. Does this sound familiar?

The unfolding of you is a precious process. And it's a beautiful process too. OK, so we don't always feel so precious and beautiful but we are! And we're heading in the right direction! The main thing is to be a s conscious as you can with the information you have. And to be kind to yourself along the way. 

You'll grow happier and more fully in a nurturing environment. Pul the weeds (negative thoughts), give yourself the right sun (love), nourishing soil (rest, healthy food), and water as needed (forgiveness). The compassionate unfolding of you is magnificently perfect.
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Vulnerability and You

10/17/2012

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When you are feeling tender and vulnerable, you are probably in growth mode like our friend the crab. When it's time for a crab to grow, she sheds her hard outer shell and heads for protective rocks until she grows the protective shell to fit her new size.


When you are going through challenges of any kind, it means there's an opportunity for growth. Take care of yourself during these times. Find a protective retreat and give yourself the space to renew yourself body and spirit. Be tender and kind with yourself and others.
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    Your host:
    Laya Saul

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    Photo credit: Rebecca Sigala
    Laya is best known for her award winning self help book called "You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way." Laya believes that women can change the world with their feminine perspectives and strengths. But many women feel depleted, so Laya created Nurturing Women to give women a place to come to feel a sense of community to replenish emotional and mental stores, find comfort, and gather strength to bless the world in ways that only women can. Be in touch!

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