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The apology you didn't get

4/26/2015

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What if you were not weighted down by the hurts in your life? Carrying around the hard feelings of life is cumbersome and actually distracts you from the abundant JOY that you can enjoy. 

How to let go of the hurts?

One of the most powerful healing elements in this world is forgiveness. You experience great freedom when you forgive. Some of the hurts we receive are difficult to forgive. Maybe we're afraid that if we forgive we will be hurt again. Forgiving doesn't have to do with letting down boundaries or even being around the people or person that hurt you. It is actually about freedom.

Apologies are hard to come by. Not the "oh, sorry" you get when someone bumps into you, but "I said something that hurt you and I did not mean to hurt you. I'm so sorry." Sometimes people are too ashamed to admit they were wrong and sometimes people are not sorry for the hurt.

Here's a secret: people who do the hurting, are people who are hurt. They are missing the capacity to back up and be sorry or they are missing the sensitivity to see that they hurt you.

The glorious thing about life is that you have the capacity to change your emotions around the hurts you've felt. Even if the "other" would never apologize, you can imagine that they did. Do not underestimate the power of imagination and the changes imagination can create within you and even to impact your outer world.

Today's exercise is to write an apology letter from one or more of the people you felt have hurt you. Write it as if their soul is writing to your soul. You can write them back if you want. Then burn or destroy the letter, releasing it on all levels. This is for giving to yourself. 

You still get to set boundaries in life that keep you safe.

I just heard a great quote, "Better to have an open heart and a thick skin than a closed heart and a thin skin." You can use this tool of writing your own letters to fortify your skin so that you can keep your glorious, shining heart open.
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Grrr...  How do you deal with your Anger?

5/28/2013

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What do you do when you're angry? How do you process the energy? Anger can be such a destructive force on the inside and the outside. One way I've learned to cope is to do something constructive that helps me burn off the angry energy in a constructive way.

It's important to express and process your anger--in a way that does not hurt yourself or others.  Here are a few ideas for you:

Write: stream of consciousness, let 'er rip, don't hold back. Then rip it to shreds or toss it into a fire and let it go.

Clean: I love a good cleaning frenzy. Put things away, throw (or give) things away, scrub away, stuff a pile of dirty laundry in the washer or what ever's up for you. Taking out the trash can be a metaphor for letting go of the "trash" in your life, the things that are making you upset. Then how about a shower or bath with all the nurturing you can muster for yourself.

Create Art: This is not about creating something pleasing or perfect. It's about the freedom to express and it's not about judging a dang thing or making something to frame or even share with anyone else. I call water color paints my "truth serum". I'm not a trained artist but there is something about putting color to paper (or canvas) that helps express emotions. The colors you choose, the shapes you make, all help you release. Markers, crayons, pieces of torn colored paper and glue can all be used. Scribbles or words or swirls, just let it out. Release your secrets in your art.

Pull weeds: Rip them outta there. Maybe another metaphor for cleaning out your thoughts and feelings or maybe there's something about the ionic charge of getting into the earth that is healing and balancing. Clear your garden, clear your mind.

Talk to God: The thing on the "outside" of you that is upsetting to you is a message. Can you hear the message? Can you see what you need to learn or how you need to direct yourself to get back in balance? "God has broad shoulders" and everything that comes your way comes for ultimately a good purpose--even when that's hard to see or comprehend. Talk to God, cry if you need to, until you're empty. Then rest.
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    Your host:
    Laya Saul

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    Photo credit: Rebecca Sigala
    Laya is best known for her award winning self help book called "You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way." Laya believes that women can change the world with their feminine perspectives and strengths. But many women feel depleted, so Laya created Nurturing Women to give women a place to come to feel a sense of community to replenish emotional and mental stores, find comfort, and gather strength to bless the world in ways that only women can. Be in touch!

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