Category: Challenges

The apology you didn't get

4/26/2015

What if you were not weighted down by the hurts in your life? Carrying around the hard feelings of life is cumbersome and actually distracts you from the abundant JOY that you can enjoy.

How to let go of the hurts?

One of the most powerful healing elements in this world is forgiveness. You experience great freedom when you forgive. Some of the hurts we receive are difficult to forgive. Maybe we're afraid that if we forgive we will be hurt again. Forgiving doesn't have to do with letting down boundaries or even being around the people or person that hurt you. It is actually about freedom.

Apologies are hard to come by. Not the "oh, sorry" you get when someone bumps into you, but "I said something that hurt you and I did not mean to hurt you. I'm so sorry." Sometimes people are too ashamed to admit they were wrong and sometimes people are not sorry for the hurt.

Here's a secret: people who do the hurting, are people who are hurt. They are missing the capacity to back up and be sorry or they are missing the sensitivity to see that they hurt you.

The glorious thing about life is that you have the capacity to change your emotions around the hurts you've felt. Even if the "other" would never apologize, you can imagine that they did. Do not underestimate the power of imagination and the changes imagination can create within you and even to impact your outer world.

Today's exercise is to write an apology letter from one or more of the people you felt have hurt you. Write it as if their soul is writing to your soul. You can write them back if you want. Then burn or destroy the letter, releasing it on all levels. This is for giving to yourself.

You still get to set boundaries in life that keep you safe.

I just heard a great quote, "Better to have an open heart and a thick skin than a closed heart and a thin skin." You can use this tool of writing your own letters to fortify your skin so that you can keep your glorious, shining heart open.

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Dance, Dance, Dance!

11/4/2014

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If you haven't seen this viral video, allow me to introduce you to an inspiring woman, Deborah Cohan. She was about to go into surgery for a double mastectomy. And she danced. I am so inspired by her courage and her decision to find joy and connection even in the face of such a challenge.

Where can you use more dance in your life?
Will you choose to dance?
I hope you dance!

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What if you make a mistake?

8/27/2013

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My friend was in pain after a surgery. "I feel like I have to throw up," she cried, "what if I throw up?" I ran to get the trash can for her, "So, you'll throw up," I said. Some how that matter of fact attitude helped her. She shared with me later that she knew she would be ok even if she had to throw up. (Which she did.)

So, what if you made a mistake?
So, you made a mistake.
It's just a matter of fact. It's in the past now anyway!
So, go fix it the best you can.

Maybe you made a mistake in your own life, maybe you hurt someone else, maybe you fell short in some way. OK. But the day (or night) is not over and you have a chance to do some repair work.

If you make a mistake, do NOT indulge in self pity and do NOT beat yourself up. No. Go back. Fix what you need to and then reroute yourself to be back on track. You keep getting new chances to do things the way you want to do them, with the grace, wit, joy, or peace that you want to bring into your life. You're doing it! Keep going.

Do your best to look for the signs--there are always warning signs. It may come in the form of sage advice from a trusted friend, or a feeling in your guts--an inner voice, or literally a sign like the one in our picture above.

The bottom line is: Everyone makes mistakes. No exceptions. What you do now, how you take action to repair, is what matters.

1) Forgive yourself
2) Apologize where needed and even sometimes when you don't think you need to because that's a cheap price for peace
3) Replace or Repair what you can where needed
4) Learn from your mistake

5) Now you're more than you were before the mistake, celebrate your growth

Baby steps ladies, just one step at a time and the results are spectacular!

Please "Like" and share this with 'you know who' with love! <3

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Oh yes you can! Make a difference, rise!

7/14/2013

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Kakenya is here to lead by example. Her story is a story of courage.

What needs to change in your life? You can find the way to make the changes. Slowly, over time. It doesn't have to happen all at once with great drama. It can happen with quiet determination.

In the Hebrew bible is the story of a five year old girl. She had the courage to speak with her father, a noble leader of the nation, and through her courage, she saved a generation of girls who would not even have been born.

You are not too young. And, you are not too old to make a difference, to change a life or to change the lives of many.

Please "Like" or tweet and share with your friends.

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Grrr... How do you deal with your Anger?

5/28/2013

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What do you do when you're angry? How do you process the energy? Anger can be such a destructive force on the inside and the outside. One way I've learned to cope is to do something constructive that helps me burn off the angry energy in a constructive way.

It's important to express and process your anger--in a way that does not hurt yourself or others. Here are a few ideas for you:

Write: stream of consciousness, let 'er rip, don't hold back. Then rip it to shreds or toss it into a fire and let it go.

Clean: I love a good cleaning frenzy. Put things away, throw (or give) things away, scrub away, stuff a pile of dirty laundry in the washer or what ever's up for you. Taking out the trash can be a metaphor for letting go of the "trash" in your life, the things that are making you upset. Then how about a shower or bath with all the nurturing you can muster for yourself.

Create Art: This is not about creating something pleasing or perfect. It's about the freedom to express and it's not about judging a dang thing or making something to frame or even share with anyone else. I call water color paints my "truth serum". I'm not a trained artist but there is something about putting color to paper (or canvas) that helps express emotions. The colors you choose, the shapes you make, all help you release. Markers, crayons, pieces of torn colored paper and glue can all be used. Scribbles or words or swirls, just let it out. Release your secrets in your art.

Pull weeds: Rip them outta there. Maybe another metaphor for cleaning out your thoughts and feelings or maybe there's something about the ionic charge of getting into the earth that is healing and balancing. Clear your garden, clear your mind.

Talk to God: The thing on the "outside" of you that is upsetting to you is a message. Can you hear the message? Can you see what you need to learn or how you need to direct yourself to get back in balance? "God has broad shoulders" and everything that comes your way comes for ultimately a good purpose--even when that's hard to see or comprehend. Talk to God, cry if you need to, until you're empty. Then rest.

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There's a Hole in My Sidewalk

3/14/2013

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This is one of my all time favorite stories of waking up. I got permission to use this in my book: You Don't Have to Learn Everything the Hard Way. When my book was finally in print, I called the publisher to find out where to mail the author a copy of my book in gratitude. The woman at the publishing house was silent for a short moment. Then she told me that Portia Nelson, the author of this amazing piece had died years ago. I cried.

I had never met Ms Nelson. But her words touched me so deeply, and still do. I hope they touch you, too. And that if you should find yourself falling into a hole in the sidewalk, maybe this story will help you wake up quickly so you can right climb out.

An Autobiography in Five Short Chapters, by Portia Nelson

I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost... I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I am in this same place. But it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in--it's a habit. But, my eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.
I walk down another street.

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Vulnerability and You

10/17/2012

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When you are feeling tender and vulnerable, you are probably in growth mode like our friend the crab. When it's time for a crab to grow, she sheds her hard outer shell and heads for protective rocks until she grows the protective shell to fit her new size.

When you are going through challenges of any kind, it means there's an opportunity for growth. Take care of yourself during these times. Find a protective retreat and give yourself the space to renew yourself body and spirit. Be tender and kind with yourself and others.

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The apology you didn't get

Dance, Dance, Dance!

What if you make a mistake?

Oh yes you can! Make a difference, rise!

Grrr... How do you deal with your Anger?

There's a Hole in My Sidewalk

Vulnerability and You

Your host:
Laya Saul

Archives

Categories

The apology you didn't get

Dance, Dance, Dance!

What if you make a mistake?

Oh yes you can! Make a difference, rise!

Grrr... How do you deal with your Anger?

There's a Hole in My Sidewalk

Vulnerability and You

Your host:Laya Saul

Archives

Categories

Your host:
Laya Saul